I don’t really hate this place….

I am at the end of my wits, but I can’t say that I hate this place. The problem, as it always is, is just one of my expectations. When I came here, I told everyone that I wanted to experience the culture and live in a place that isn’t the US for a while. That was all true, but I’ll let you in on a little secret, almost every westerner that comes here also has the idea that they will make a difference, that they can help in some way. I didn’t expect to turn the country around, but I did harbor fantasies of perhaps turning around a few people. If enough people pursue individual success, things will start to change. The economy could get better and with any luck they would put pressure on the government to stay out of the way.

Well, like most people that come over here with the idea of “making a difference,” I have been incredibly frustrated. Whether you are trying to get some ideas about the economy across (like myself), trying to help with women’s issues, trying to tackle the water problem, the qat problem, or anything else, the thought inevitably comes into your mind, “What is wrong with these people?”

Now, let me say that I am perfectly willing to tolerate cultural differences, as long as people are happy with the consequences of those attitudes. What I and so many other people get frustrated about is that the people want things both ways. They want everything to be the same, except, you know, different… When people here complain about something (and there is plenty to complain about), they never seem to connect the dots. I have had many conversations about how rich the US is and most Yemenis are pretty jealous. But the thought of working 40 hours a week or more is out of the question. The thought of taking a single hour for lunch is out of the question. The thought of not chewing qat for three hours a day is out of the question. The idea of not throwing away a month’s worth of productivity during Ramadan is out of the question. And of course the idea of allowing half your population (the women) into the work force is unthinkable, but they want to be just like the US economically…

It’s the same for any other thing that people complain about here. They don’t like something, but they have a total blind spot for the solution. I really wouldn’t mind so much if they said, “Well, we can’t do that because of our cultural norms, and our culture is more important than the benefit that you described.” OK, that’s fair enough, some things are worth more than others to different people. But of course no one says anything like that. Usually, they will either deny that there is something in the culture holding them back, or they simply don’t see how it is relevant.

And this is with the stuff that they complain about. There are plenty of people trying to change things here that the Yemenis, as a whole, do not see as a problem. If you think that women having equal rights (including FGM issues), reducing the population growth, or qat are problems, you’re looking at being massively frustrated. Here’s the thing, there has to be a critical mass of people that both understand the problem and care enough to do something for any progress to have any traction. No one can come here and “change” anything for the better. All you can really do is educate people about the problems and possible alternatives and hope that they eventually come around. Look at Iraq if you want to see a worst case scenario of people who “know better” coming in and attempting to change things. Oh things change all right, but not for the better. Until the bulk of people jump on the bandwagon, nothing will be accomplished.

I do like to think that even if the good intentions of the students here do not pan out like we fantasize we still have a positive impact. Especially the women that come over here. I think that the more independent, successful women that Yemenis see, the better. I hope beyond hope that I’ve impressed some things on my students that may trickle down to other people. Leading by example as opposed to by force is always the best way to effect change IMO. I’m not sure which is more frustrating though…