Inappropriate questions

Tami and I were talking about teaching English here (she’s now a teacher as well) and we got onto the topic of inappropriate questions. The students obviously don’t think they’re out of place or being rude, but the questions they ask really grate on English speakers. The very first one, and one I still hear on almost a daily basis is the greeting, “What’s your name” It’s one thing to ask someone’s name after you have been talking for a while, but it always jars me a little when that is the first thing out of their mouth. I’ve started to ignore anyone that does that and will only respond when they go to an actual greeting like hello.

That’s fairly minor, but there’s lots of others. Many people want to practice their English with me on the street, the conversations are supposed to be small talk since they are complete strangers but they usually throw something out that disrupts the flow. The classic is “Are you a Muslim?” That’s not too bad really although it does seem a little personal so early in a conversation. It’s the follow up question that makes it difficult, things like, “Why not?” “When are you going to convert?” or even the statement, “You need to become muslim!” It’s a bit awkward and it effectively kills the conversation.

Other questions that catch me off guard are “How old are you?” and “Are you married?” “Why aren’t you married?” is the usual followup when I tell them that I’m not. It seems odd to ask how old someone is, especially when you first meet them, but no biggie. Even asking the marital status isn’t a big deal, but asking why someone isn’t married seems to be getting a little personal. What kind of answer are they expecting, something short like, “I never really thought about it?” It points to a basic difference between our culture and theirs. Getting married is a social thing here, usually arranged and it’s something that every guy, with enough money, goes through. It doesn’t occur to them that questions about voluntary relationships are just not asked between strangers.

The most curious question has to be, “What do you weigh?” I have no idea why people are interested in this, but I’ve been asked multiple times, as has Tami. Americans may be more sensitive about this than other people because we’re so fat, but I still am not quite sure why someone would want to know. It’s obviously a big thing here, there are innumerable kids with scales working the streets. For a couple of riyals, you can get weighed. I’ve done it myself several times, but that was mostly because I had lost a noticeable amount of weight and was curious. I don’t know what motivates people to ask about someone else’s weight over here.