Month: May 2008

I’ve calmed down some. As usual, it is the sheer amount of ignorance that has gotten to me. Poverty begets ignorance, and ignorance begets more ignorance. I can usually keep all of that in perspective, but sometimes it wells up and crashes down on me. I’m hoping that I can be Mr. cool for the next 35 days or so, but it wouldn’t surprise me if I have several more Yemen moments before I leave…

I don’t think that western women that visit here really understand the level of frustration I have achieved with dealing with the men here. Western women can talk to both the men and the women, but I can assure you that they have very different conversations with the men than I do. While women can talk about their brothers, husbands, and fathers, the men are totally silent about their female relatives. I don’t get to meet them, and if I go to their house, I don’t even get to see them. The implicit assumption that they are totally off limits to all other males makes my skin crawl. Somehow their honor would be compromised if I even saw them. What does that say about what they think of me? BTW, this isn’t necessarily an Islam thing, it’s a Yemeni thing.

Anyway, this stuff has been building in me for a long time, and I’m tired of being all PC about it, I hate it. I hate how they treat “their” women like possessions and I hate the fact that I can’t even be trusted to see or talk to them. Whatever, I’m done with this place…

We were about to listen to a conversation in class about asking about someone’s family. I felt that it was necessary to explain to the class that it is very common to talk about our families to our friends and acquaintances. As a man, I would even talk about my mother, my sister, or my wife and even mention her name. Here in Yemen, you do not tell men about your mother, wife, or sister. You certainly never tell another man her name. There’s a perfectly good reason for that of course. You see, as soon as he told me her name, I would rape her in front of him and his entire family… Just for you non-native speakers reading this, that last sentence is dripping with sarcasm, go look up what that means. Who do they think they are? Keeping “their” women wrapped in secrecy, like they were some sort of valuable commodity that might be stolen offends me deeply. Women are, indeed, sentient and are perfectly capable of maintaining their morals on their own, there’s no need for them to be sequestered away to the point where people can’t even know their name…

Seriously, it’s incredibly stupid, degrading, and insulting to women. Asking a guy what his wife’s name is here would at the very least result in a black eye. With some hot-heads, it might result in a gunshot wound. I do not, and to be honest, will not, understand the secrecy about women relatives here. But what can you do? It’s a deep part of their culture and it’s not going away. It’s best to simply accept it as a given. So I explained how our cultures are different in this regard and told them not to be surprised when people just tell you the names of their mother and sister and actually introduce their wife. I also told them that they shouldn’t be surprised if they want to know the names of their mother, wife, and sisters.

One of my students interrupted me and said, “That’s because you eat pork.” I understood immediately. For those of you that are not intimately familiar with this culture, or for those of you that think in a logical fashion, let me explain what that comment meant. It is a widely held belief here that if you eat pork, you will not care if your wife has sex with another man, and you will in fact start cheating on your wife. You also lose any interest in your sister maintaining her “honor.” Yes, many people think that eating pork makes people promiscuous and we lose our capacity to be jealous or even care about the sexual exploits of our sister/wife.

I have heard this many times. Usually, I just laugh it off and tell them that they have obviously never met an Italian or a Puerto Rican. Those men are famous for both their pork intake and their insane jealousies. This time it was different. I was already seething beneath the surface about the whole, “I can’t tell you I have a mother” routine, but his comment sent me over the edge. He was saying that not only was it a bad thing for us to blithely tell people our sister’s or mother’s name, but that somehow what we eat was to “blame” for that terrible sin.

I’m surprised my lip didn’t start to bleed I was biting down so hard. I will tell you what went through my mind. A word of warning, if swearing bothers you, skip to the last paragraph… Right, eating pork is what makes us so loose with “our” women. I guess eating salta (a uniquely Yemeni dish) is what makes you so fucking stupid. In your eyes, we may be “immoral” in the west, but we don’t treat women like possessions, we ended slavery back in the 1880’s. I assume that your God forsaken, pathetic excuse for a culture is only maintaining the moral high ground, protecting “your” women from God knows what, by assiduously avoiding eating the flesh of swine. Usually we say you are what you eat, but you’re a big enough idiot to become what you don’t eat. Fuck you, fuck you and your whole smug, pathetic, insular, ignorant, abomination of a culture.

OK, so I wasn’t that coherent at the moment. Mostly, it was just “Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you.” I was seething and I briefly fantasized about walking over and making him lose a couple of teeth. When someone starts at a level that I despise and then uses a moronic excuse to tell me how bad my culture is, violence does indeed spring into my head. Maybe I could beat some sense into him… If he had said that Americans didn’t know God, or didn’t have the correct religion, I’d think he was crazy, but at least he wouldn’t sound like a total moron. Blaming our “shortcomings” (how dare we include female relatives in our conversations?) on eating bacon is the height of idiocy. What drives me nuts is that so many people here are stupid enough not to question the causation of sexual promiscuity on eating pork. I’m not even going to go into the absurd jump from telling people the names of female relatives to them whoring around. Usually, this culture assumes that men are total animals and cannot control their sexual urges but apparently women are totally helpless if you know their name. If a man knows a woman’s name he can apparently see her at will and we all know that the only thing that men and women can do together is have sex. God, this culture is so screwed up…

Anyway, after all that bile went through my head, I told him that that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. I was about to go on, but I decided that I probably wouldn’t stop. So I went back to the present continuous tense and object pronouns. I need to get out of here, their idiocy might turn me into a sociopath…

I mentioned in an earlier post how reading doesn’t seem to very popular here. I recently gave one of my classes a writing assignment where they had to describe their favorite story or book. Predictably, 4 out of the 14 said the Qur’an. That’s fine, if you’re in a religion based around a book, that book should be important to you. Another three wrote about how they don’t like to read. I then asked my other class to tell me what their favorite story is. 4 out of the 12 could not give me a single title, in English or Arabic. They were all women incidentally… We’re talking about people that have graduated from high school and are at least 20 years old. One of my friends pointed out that I would be saddened by a similar poll in the US. I don’t doubt that, but I’m positive that if we asked Americans what their favorite story is, we would have a far greater percentage of people responding with an answer. I am now trying to emphasize how important reading is to my students. I figure that even if the ones that don’t read now don’t start, at least the ones that do will make sure their kids do…

There are endless complaints about the government here. There’s a good reason for that, the government is rife with cronyism and corruption. The general sentiment seems to be that if only they had a good person in power, everything would be just fine. I am going to ignore, for right now, the idea that the government should not only be in charge of fixing things, but of running everything. No one seems to understand that this government is exactly what you can expect when you wish for what everyone here wishes for. Almost to a person, the Yemenis see a powerful, centralized government being controlled by a strong man as the ideal. The government should be in charge of the economy, be in charge of handing out jobs, and of course be in charge of upholding sharia law. It should be headed by a strong man that has the power to make different factions bend to his will. Many people actively dream of having a king…

In theory, if you got the right guy, a benevolent, enlightened, wise man to run a government like that, it wouldn’t be so bad. I still don’t think it would be ideal, but it wouldn’t be as bad as it is now. Of course, there is never anyone like that running a government. Why not? Surely there are people that fit that description in the world, how come they are never elected to be benevolent dictator? The reason of course is that people that crave power are drawn to positions that offer power. The people that crave power have the stomach to do what they need to in order to get that power. A good person would never have a chance in competition with people like that. When you invest a leader with almost total control, you can expect the person that eventually occupies that post is more power hungry than benevolent. You can also expect that person to take full advantage of his position once he attains it.

The are countless examples of this anywhere where the myth of the powerful leader heading the perfect government exists. The Arabic nations are an easy list of examples, but South America and Central America are just as guilty. You’ll notice what all of those places seem to have in common, underperforming economies and human rights abuses. The founders of the US knew what they were doing when they put the different branches of government into opposition. By limiting the power of the executive, legislative, and judicial, we have been able to benefit from the power struggle between them over all these years.

One thing I have learned from being in Yemen is that we need to watch out for politicians promising to “fix” whatever problems we have. You can be assured that whatever they say is only being said in order to be elected. It is their quest for office that motivates them. Thankfully, a president has limited impact on sweeping changes in the US (with the exception of foreign policy), so most of his promises amount to little more than pandering. What we need is a candidate that will tell us to solve our own problems, stop looking to the government to fix everything. That candidate will never get very far because people want to believe in the Philosopher King in government instead of facing up to the real motivations behind the quest for power.

Since I’ll be leaving in June, I need to get rid of the stuff in my apartment. I had heard that there was a newish student here that planned on being here on a long term basis. He expressed some interest in buying some of my stuff, so he came over. I thought he’d be interested in the apartment, but it turns out he has big plans. He is going to rent a 4 bedroom place and furnish it. He then plans to sublet the place over the next 7-8 years. I think he’s nuts. He’s been here all of one month, doesn’t really know Arabic, and he’s planning on staying here for 7-8 years. Not only that, he’s planning on sinking money into an apartment with the idea of making money on it, in Yemen mind you…

Never mind the lunacy of wanting to be here that long, how about the idea that he’s going to make money on real estate here. There’s every indication that this place will melt down over the next 8 years, but we’ll ignore that. If it was a pretty straightforward business of renting the house out at a profit, why isn’t the landlord doing it? My guess is that once this American gets the place spiffed up, the rent will magically go up…

Another thing to keep in mind is that once you are renting, the landlords usually assume that any problems you have (water, plumbing, electricity, etc.) are your problem. They do not help or try to fix things. It is very common for the landlord to ask for money to make the place ready to move into. I have had many friends look at places and tell the landlord that they would live there IF the bathroom were fixed, the kitchen repaired, etc. The landlord says, great! Give me $400 and I’ll do it… It’s a very strange arrangement.

Anyway, this guy I was talking to tonight was all of 22 or 23 and he figured that he had his whole 8 year stay here all planned out. I think his best case scenario is that he does what he wants and everything works out until the revolution comes. Then he’s SOL…

It has been raining off and on for the past three days. It’s nice to have humidity in the air again, I don’t feel like a mummy every morning. The old city was built around a natural riverbed, called the saila, so when it rains the water naturally runs down to it. It was paved just recently, I think about 10 years ago or so, paid for by the American taxpayer… When it’s not raining, the saila is one of the main roads in the old city. It connects several big streets and so it’s pretty useful to get around on. Of course when it rains, it is impassable. All of the rain that hits the old city flows into it. I have seen the water rise up to 8 feet in the saila.

With all of that water flowing downhill, the rain acts as a natural street cleaner. This entire area is always covered by various amounts of dust. If we get a small amount of rain, everything is covered in a slick film of silt. When it rains really hard, or it keeps up for several days, a lot of that dust gets swept away. It is the only time you will ever see the streets clean. As you get towards the saila, there is a bit of an accumulation of mud. The saila itself is as muddy as the York river. Children play in it despite God only knows what is in there and the sometimes swift current. I guess it’s the only time they really get to play in the water. Still, not only does the rain wash away the dust, it washes away everything else that is on the streets as well. Take my word for it, the streets here are pretty nasty. A day or two after the rain stops and most of the water has evaporated leaving the sailia a muddy mess, it is disgusting. The sailia smells like a sewer. People here still just walk through it in their sandals. I’m just waiting for the next Yemeni to lecture me about how western toilets are so unsanitary…

The newer parts of the city do not have any natural riverbed. It doesn’t rain here very often, but it does rain and that water does have to go somewhere. It looks as though no one ever gave that any thought when they built the roads. They aren’t crowned, the slopes are all over the place, and there certainly isn’t any storm sewer system, the water just falls and then it flows downhill until it stops. So certain areas can have as much as 4 to 5 inches of standing water. It wouldn’t be so bad, except that a lot of these places are at major intersections and on major roads. The water does evaporate pretty quickly, but it still takes a day or two for those places to be dry again. With the Yemenis’ penchant for littering and dumping all sorts of stuff, it gets pretty nasty. The fish souk is particularly fragrant these days… This does give a possible explanation as to why almost all of the speed bumps have a gap in them. The speed bumps act as a dam for the water, so they put a gap in it to allow the water to flow. That makes a lot more sense than giving the motorcycles a way to avoid the speed bumps…

The other thing that I have noticed since the rains have started are the mosquitos. Being from a rather swampy part of Gloucester county, I’m well acquainted with mosquitos. The ones here are particularly potent, I itch like crazy from their bites. I am also getting eaten alive at night. None of my windows have functional screens, I have yet to see any windows in Yemen that can keep bugs out. Since all of the sheets here seem to be made of synthetics (mine are at least), I broil under them. If I throw them off, I get bitten. I’ve had to resort to going to bed fully dressed in a long sleeved t-shirt and sweat pants and no covers. My hands and feet are still getting bitten, but it’s better.

When I go back home, I’ll be walking into the teeth of a Virginia summer. The weather itself will be much worse back home. It gets hotter and it is more humid in VA. On the other hand, it’s pretty easy to avoid those things by going inside. There are fewer weather problems here, but you can’t get away from the ones that are here…