I want to say a few more things about the people I’ve met here. I think that if you ask anyone who has been here what they think of the people here, the word “nice” will be the first thing they say. It’s true, they are very nice and very hospitable. This is one of the main reasons why visits here are so fun. As an American, I never really got used to complete strangers inviting me over for lunch. This is probably the main reason why I’ve been able to stay here for as long as I have without going totally insane.
On the other hand, there is still an enormous divide between our cultures. No amount of kindness or hospitality can bridge it. This is where my real frustration lies. Once we get past the small talk, there’s nothing much left for me to say. Nothing without getting really angry or getting them really pissed that is. Conversations inevitably drift around to impasses like Jews, colonialism, racism, sexism, etc. I literally don’t know what I can say without my hosts getting really offended.
As I’ve blogged before, I dream of the day when I hear a Yemeni admit that the problems here are really all caused by Yemenis. Even if the US and Israel didn’t exist, this place would still be a mess. I have yet to hear that admission. Questions like, “Do you think Jews run the world,” and “Do you really think Arabs were to blame for 9//11?” Drive me crazy. The implication of that second question is that the whole 9/11 thing was a vast Zionist/American conspiracy. I’ve been told by several people here that all of the Jews were mysteriously absent from both of the towers that day. Yeah right… Hatred of Israel is deep seated here. I’m not sure if it’s justifiable or not, but I do know that they carry that hatred to absurd lengths.
To be fair on the issue of race, it’s (usually) a little more complicated then just plain old racism, though no less odious. There is a very rigid class system here, what we see as racism is really more classism than anything else. Yes, they do dismiss out of hand the idea that a black man could marry their daughter or assume any real power, but they feel the same way about butchers, barbers, and musicians. It is simply much easier to identify what class the black people belong to by sight… I have been told that Barak Obama shouldn’t become president because he’s black. I’m not sure if that’s racism or just the ignorant application of their own class system to other cultures. I think the reason that the classism/racism isn’t as nasty here as it has been in the US is because unlike the US, a black man simply cannot marry a woman from a non black tribe, he cannot achieve any position of power or prestige, he doesn’t even have his choice of what job he can have. I’m willing to believe that violence would not be too long in coming if a black man ever did any of those things here. I hope you can understand why I have so little patience for this no matter how “nice” the hospitality might be…
The same situation applies to the sexism here. It is deep seated, and they often use a religious justification for it. Nothing is expected of women here other than to be a mother and take care of the stuff in the home. A lot of what we see as sexism is simply disbelief that women actually want to do anything else. When women start to become more educated, or just better at something than the man, blow-back in inevitable. Men are raised to believe that they occupy a privileged place in society, and most of them defend that idea no matter how ridiculous it makes them look. The society is segregated along sexual lines, men and women just do not mix here.
Talking about women is an especially painful thing to do here. All of the single men I’ve talked to are both in awe and slightly repulsed by women. It’s a really strange combination. Everything male is considered superior, so there is always the feeling that there is something lacking in women. On the other hand, there is natural attraction whose outlet is suppressed to an amazing degree. I can’t help but think that a lot of the social problems I see from both sexes can be traced back to this.
This is also why I’m insanely jealous of the western women that come over here. They are allowed to talk to both sexes while I can really only talk to the men. All of my female friends say that they have markedly different conversations with the women. Most of those conversations seem to be around regular life instead of Zionist conspiracies. One of my friends told me that her husband has a similar complaint about taking to men, one which she hasn’t been exposed to. I have no doubt that the difference in the lives between the sexes could lead to a difference in culture, at least in conversations. I do wish I could get into that world…
I’ll have more to say about relations between the sexes and religion later on…