Category: Yemen

This place is so screwed up… Everything and anything here is related back to sex. You can’t look at a woman’s hair, it’ll make you think about sex. You can’t look at her face, it’ll make you think about sex. Of course her figure is right out as well. Forget about talking or meeting between the sexes, that could lead to sex. It’s as if they think the only thing that men and women can do together is have sex, it’s repulsive. A common complaint about the US is that there are many references to sex and sexuality in popular media and culture. Fair enough, there is, but at least those are about sex as opposed to, you know, talking to each other… I’m not supposed to go outside with wet hair, why? Well, obviously it means that I just had sex… What? First off, why would anyone care, and second, you only take a shower after sex? Whatever, they will just have to deal with the idea that I’ve just had sex for the 10 or 15 minutes it takes for my hair to dry (shut up, it’s not that crazy an idea that I’ve had sex..), I’m not getting up any earlier for class.

It shouldn’t come as any surprise that their ideas about sex are totally warped. There’s plenty of stories about women being blamed for being raped over here (I still haven’t figured out how if she’s a whore and asking for sex that she could be raped. Rape means that she didn’t want it…), but it is much weirder when it comes to “homosexual acts.” Homosexuality is, of course, haraam, but you’d be amazed at what the popular culture considers a “homosexual act.” What we back in the states would consider gay sex happens very frequently over here, but get this, the one, um, receiving, is the only one considered “gay,” the act of giving doesn’t really have much social stigma attached to it, at least when you’re single. It doesn’t seem to make much difference that he’s doing it to another guy, at least he’s being “masculine.” This is one of the worst kept secrets of the middle east. If only they would fess up to how screwed up their attitudes are towards sex I think it would go a long way towards alleviating the collective neurosis that they have regarding sex.

There has been a rape case in Saudi Arabia that has been getting some attention worldwide recently. A woman was with a man that she was not married to, a guy (or guys) attacked them, both her and the guy were raped(!), and she was whipped and sentenced to two years in prison. Unfortunately, that’s par for the course over here and I’m sad to admit that it doesn’t surprise me. The weird thing is how they treated the guy. There isn’t a legal definition for a man getting raped in KSA and in many other middle eastern countries. So the guy that was raped was given 90 lashes for “performing a homosexual act” and I don’t think that the guy who raped him will be punished for it. That and the prevalence of FGM encapsulates how utterly and truly this area is screwed up.

This is a good warning to all of those that would like the overt sexuality in the US to just go away. I don’t think that it would hurt too much to knock it back a few notches, but I don’t think we should underestimate the value of even a vicarious release for sexual interest. To try to totally suppress it like they do here (and in Victorian England) leads to some really screwed up people. I gotta believe that the brainwashing they receive all their life until they get married can’t just be switched off on their wedding night, there has to be long term consequences to it. How can you have a healthy sex life if you’ve been told it is something to fear and avoid all your life? I think that it is much healthier to be frank, admit that sexual desire is a powerful thing but that it needs to be channelled into healthy outlets. A good psychologist would never run out of clients here…

Anyway, my hair is dry now, I guess I can go to school…

We were walking back from dinner when a car came past honking at nothing in particular. Dana asked, “Why do they do that?”
“They’re Yemeni, if they didn’t make noise, they wouldn’t exist.”
“Aha! So you’re saying that when a tree falls in a forest it always makes noise?”
“Only if it’s Yemeni…”
Just then a kid/teenager came running down the street and almost plowed into me despite the fact that he could see me for half a block.
“The tree also doesn’t pay attention to where it’s falling…”

I was sipping on my second Jack and Coke when the scantily clad Thai singers/dancers broke into “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)” by ABBA and I noticed that the ambassador hadn’t gone onto the dance floor yet. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

The day before yesterday, my friend Luciano sent me a message asking me to come to his wedding dinner on the 28th. He had just returned from his honeymoon and he and Laurie were having a dinner to celebrate. They are actually two of the first people that I met here, we went bowling together on my first night. Anyway, he works for the Italian embassy and is a great guy, there was no way I was going to miss this. It was being held at the Taj Sheba hotel, a rather swanky place by Sana’a standards. Anyway, I got there a little late (I had been teaching late) and went to the front desk to ask where the party was. I then realized that I couldn’t remember his last name. I have heard it before, but it just doesn’t come up very often… “Um, I’m looking for my friend Luchiano’s party…” The woman just stared at me. “He’s Italian and it’s…”
“Oh, the Italian embassy party is in that room over there.”

My heart sank. As I walked into the room my fears were realized. It wasn’t a black tie affair, but everyone was in at least a sports coat if not an actual suit. I was in my best hooded sweatshirt and the jeans I was wearing had only small stains on them, you really had to look for them to see them at all… I don’t have any good clothes over here, I’m in Yemen for crying out loud. The Italian ambassador from italy was there along with the rest of the staff. Anyway, Luchiano made me feel welcome and Tami and I sat down. As we walked over to the table, we noticed that there was a bar. The waiter asked me what I wanted to drink and on whim I said a Jack and Coke. The glass he brought over was filled halfway with Jack Daniels, I told them to fill it up the rest of the way with Coke. They certainly weren’t stingy with the alcohol…

Entertaining us was a group of Thai women called “Simple Touch.” There were 5 of them dancing and singing. The band consisted of a synthesizer/sequencer and a tambourine. They regaled us with various power ballads from the 80’s and some dance numbers. They were wearing some, umm, interesting outfits. This being Yemen, they were covered, but with a body stocking. Most of it was fairly see through (with appropriate darker areas of course), tasteful wasn’t the word that came to mind. I think that Tami came up with the best word to encapsulate everything about the outfit.
Cameltoe.
Anyway, as she pointed out this was probably better than working in a brothel in Bangkok or Manilla.

The Italians certainly know how to have fun and it was infectious. The food was good and I drank more than I have in the last 7 or 8 years combined. I had two of those amazing Jack and Cokes, and after the dinner the waiter asked if I’d like a cognac. What else can you say to an offer like that? It was served in a proper snifter, it smelled and tasted divine. I also had some champagne at the end. I don’t drink much, or often, but I have always had a weakness for weddings.

It was during my second Jack and Coke when “Simple Touch” launched into that most improbable of Abba songs that I realized that I hadn’t anticipated this at all. But it was fun, and I’m glad that I could take part in celebrating their wedding. Thanks for inviting me guys!

I was talking to my teacher this morning and a local house caught my eye. I had seen this place before, it has, inexplicably, a lot of trash on its roof. I asked him why and he told me the same thing that another teacher had told me, “It’s Yemen!” After we laughed a little, I asked him why there really was so much trash all over the place, didn’t people care about how Yemen looks? I actually cringed when he told what he thought was the reason, it’s because the government doesn’t do enough cleaning/enforcement. I tried the best I could to explain that the reason that there is less trash in other places isn’t because of the government, people just don’t like it. He casually threw out the idea that Sana’a wasn’t that dirty (he’s obviously never been anywhere else), so I used some other villages to press my point. He just shrugged his shoulders…

We did talk a little bit about Yemen’s government, what a mess. There is, of course, the president. There is also a “government” headed up by a prime minister. This is where all of the ministers of various departments are (electricity, culture, etc.). Unlike other countries that have a prime minister, this entire government is appointed by the president. Wait, it gets better… There is a parliament that is elected, this is where the opposition parties try to exercise some power. There is also a smaller body that works with the parliament called the Shura council. From what I understand, they are supposed to act in an advisory role to parliament, guiding them in matters of constitutionality and religious law. No law passed can go against generally accepted Sharia law. This council doesn’t get to vote on anything, but they wield considerable influence over parliament. The Shura council is appointed by… the president of course!

And I thought Bush had too much power! The president effectively has almost total control, and that’s not good. My teacher then informed me that most of the Arab countries (that aren’t monarchies) have a similar system. Gah, no wonder this area is such a mess…

Today I was in another class talking about food. At least this time it had popular ethnic foods in America as its context. It mentioned Italian, Greek, Chinese, Mexican, German, and Japanese food. There were a couple of students that recognized some of them, including a girl that had gone to an Italian restaurant in Saudi Arabia. Still, I couldn’t quite explain how much I miss Mexican food, SIGH. Anyway, we talked about different types of food here and other places. Fast food came up and just for fun, I asked them what a hamburger is made of. Predictably, some of them said ham, not that they knew what that was. I informed them that ham was a type of pork and got blank stares, so I used the Arabic word “hhanzeer,” and got a unified gasp out of them. Some looked more than a little worried, so I quickly informed them that all hamburgers are made of beef and everyone relaxed again… I spent the last 5 minutes of class going over common foods in the west that are haraam for them. They learned about pork, ham, and bacon. I also remembered that alcohol is used in a decent amount of desserts and other dishes so I told them about rum, vodka, tequila (mmmm, California pizza kitchen’s tequila lime chicken fettucini sounds REALLY good right now), brandy, Bailiey’s, and Grand Marnier. Man, that class made me really hungry…

The next class was hilarious. I had read the lesson the night before and prepared myself. It was all about some guy named Tom talking about his wedding day. Ooog, that took some explaining. It was really about the wedding reception, they didn’t talk about the actual wedding at all. The part where he talked about his mother dancing with his bride’s father took a little while to explain… Anyway, I did what I could and then I told them they could ask me other questions. They ended up learning about the wedding party, how the actual wedding goes, the honeymoon, bridesmaids, the Best Man, etc. They (well the guys) had a lot of questions about men only being able to marry one woman, I had one student with two wives! All of them seemed to be relieved that they could get divorced and remarried… Anyway, it was interesting, I think I managed to explain things pretty well, I hope they don’t think we’re too weird:-)

… if there’s anything you would like from here, just let me know. This is an offer for not only my family, but to people that have been here and are now living in the states (you know who you are!). Spices (saffron is crazy cheap here), perfumes, incense, whatever, just let me know. The Yemenis are crazy for perfume, I can get just about any “designer” (Tommy, D&G, Joop, etc.)perfume you can think of at really good prices. I’ll also be going through the duty free in Doha. I haven’t been there before, but if it is anything like the one in Dubai, I expect some really good prices on alcohol. 30 year old scotches, cognac, you name it, I can get it at good prices. Anyway, just let me know!

When people pray here, they have to perform their ablutions beforehand. Fair enough, they need to be clean to pray. The problem is the way they go about that here. It involves leaning over a sink and a lot of splashing. They wash their face, part of their arms, rinsing their mouth, and of course a lot of spitting. I have seen people washing their feet in the sink… After they are done, the entire area is soaking wet. I’ve seen this in restaurants, airports, and of course where I live. We have a tub, if you’re going to make a mess, why not do it in there? I have never seen anyone here care about how they leave the washing area, it’ll be nice to have my own bathroom again…

I was in the computer room doing internet stuff when one of the kids of one of the workers at the school came in.

Him: How are you?
Me: I’m alright, but I’m a little hungry.
Him: Oh? (noticeably brightening) we should go to a restaurant!

These are the sorts of invitations that I decline on a regular basis. I had no interest in going anywhere with him. From hard experience I knew that he was trying to get something from me.

Me: Oh, I have a lot of stuff to do right now, I’ll probably go in a few hours.
Him: Oh… What is your name?
Me: It’s Isaac
Him: OK, could you lend me 500 riyals?
Me: No.

I tried to be as dismissive of him as possible and concentrate on what I was doing.

Him: Why not?

What do I say to that? Do I tell him that I knew from the moment he came in the room he was trying to get something out of me? Do I tell him that he should try to get money from someone whose name he knows? Or maybe I should tell him that he is 400th person to assume that I should give them money and that his question of “Why not?” has guaranteed that I will never talk to him again?

Look, there’s plenty of desperate people out here, I see them begging all the time. I don’t hold it against them, life sucks here, I give to some of them. What I respect about those people is that they aren’t pretending, they aren’t kidding around, they need the money and often times have no other ways of getting it. Crippled people, mothers with their retarded child, blind people, old widows, etc. They ask me for money because they ask everyone for money, they cover all bases. This guy and his type are another thing altogether. They pretend to be friendly, hell maybe they are friendly, but they do it for a specific thing, money. They pretend to want to be my friend, and then once I’m talking to them, they ask for money. Not just any money mind you, they always have a specific amount in mind. This time it was 500 riyals. I’ve been asked for 1000 riyals, 5000, 10000, even a hundred bucks. Actual beggars are happy for anything, these guys are hucksters. I happen to know that this particular guy lives in a nice building (the students building), and has no real financial burdens. It has happened to me so many times, I’m really sick of it.

I ended up telling him that I don’t lend money to people here. He said, “Oh,” and left. There’s an old saying that if you lend someone $20 and you never hear from them again, it was probably $20 well spent. It’s even better when you don’t spend the money and get the same result…

I’m getting really frustrated. I can’t find the classic staple of language learners, note-cards. I had been able to buy 3 1/2 by 5 note-cards with no problem when I first got here, but the store that I was buying them from has stopped selling them. He doesn’t seem to have any desire to stock them again, and I can’t find any in this whole fricking city… I have been to 8 or 9 stores and no one seems to have any idea what I’m talking about. When I show them the cards, they just shake their heads. ARGHH!! I’ve been using flash cards to learn new words for so long that I’m having trouble adapting to any other way of learning new words. I need to find some more cards, my vocb is suffering… If anyone wants to send me some, I’d be very grateful:-)

There are ongoing demonstrations and sit ins down in Ta’izz because of the awful economic situation. The protesters are demanding that there be no more corruption when it comes to allocating government jobs, that the government do something to help college graduates find jobs, and to alleviate poverty in general.

I don’t have any hard proof of this, but it certainly seems that the government sector is a large part of the economy here. It certainly is in Sana’a. The problem is that the government sector doesn’t actually add to the productivity, and hence to wealth creation, of the country. Everyone here aspires to get a job in the government. The government does seem to pay better than most of the private sector jobs. That in itself could be a problem, if most of the capable people are in the government, the private sector doesn’t have much to pick from. In addition, the government sector “crowds out” many things that could be provided by the private sector, thus robbing the country of the greater efficiency and productivity that a for profit enterprise generates. Because government jobs are so popular, there are many more people applying for them than there are positions. People being people, where there is a demand, there will be an entrepreneur to take advantage of that demand. It is very common to have to pay very high prices in order to land the government job that you want. As long as there are long lines of people wanting these jobs, corruption will take advantage of that demand. The only way to get rid of this problem is to make the private sector more attractive and more lucrative. More pro-growth and smaller government policies need to be followed…

There is an ongoing problem with people graduating from colleges and then not being able to find a job. Most of this can be blamed on the continuing pathetic performance of the economy. More than a third of Yemenis are out of work so it’s no surprise that college graduates are among those. The other significant problem is that there are very few people coming out of Yemeni colleges with “useful” degrees. A startling percentage of graduates come out of college with a degree in Arabic. I think the number is well over 50%, many of the other people get degrees in English. There are a vanishingly small percentage of graduates in the sciences, mathematics, social sciences, and business. I’m not even sure that there is an equivalent of Engineering offered here. There are people with an “engineering” degree, but they seem to know little more than a contractor would know back home. They can build structures, but they cannot seem to tackle more difficult projects like tall buildings, bridges, roads, or dams. If you want one of those things built, you have to import an actual engineer… Yemenis could really help themselves if they started to pursue degrees in fields that have to be imported now…

The government can’t really alleviate poverty, but it could get out of the way. Curiously, no one seems to be asking for that. Instead, the protesters are demanding that the government do “something” about poverty. People need to understand that governments can’t create wealth, they can only take it away. With a minimal government footprint in people’s lives, they should be able to go about being productive in whatever ways they can think of. The cynic in me realizes that this is not what Yemenis want. They want the government to wave a magic wand and suddenly become like their neighbors in Qatar, the UAE, and of course like KSA. It’s too bad that the only wealth that they are familiar with is from an abundance of a very desirable natural resource. It never crosses their mind to wonder why the US is so rich, let alone Hong Kong or Taiwan. The US certainly has plenty of natural resources, but that is not why we are rich. Good old fashioned hard work and savings over the course of the past 400 years has produced what we have today. The Yemenis would do well to study places like Taiwan in order to become wealthy, not Qatar. Until they start to ask the government to allow them to prosper by their own cunning, they will always be poor.